I'm in the midst of an ethical dilemma. A colleague/vendor had lied to me. I am 100% certain of this -- no way it didn't happen. He then left the company without telling me and I found out a few weeks later. This is someone I had thought I had an established relationship with.
Fast forward a year or so and now, he has turned up like a bad penny. He has launched his own company and sent me this perky email about "let's get caught up." I dont want to get caught up with him. I ignored the email. To me, that's on par with answering it. There's his answer, "No, let's NOT get caught up."
Today he sent another email -- "can I call you right now and we can chat for a few minutes?" and I ignored that one too.
The thing is: I don't want drama, I don't want a discussion. I don't want a rehash. I don't want a he said/she said. I just want him to leave me alone.
So is it right/fair/ethical to just ignore this guy? Or do I owe him some kind of explanation such as "As it turns out, you told me a huge lie, then left without even telling me you were leaving." I really don't want to have this discussion.
I have to add that this is not a new theme for me. Somewhat dissimilar to this story which is 90% work relationship/10% personal relationship, I have done this twice before. Both times it was a female friend. One was a compulsive liar and would make up these dramas in her life for sympathy. I'd be left limp from her tragedies -- how can anyone have this much bad luck? I'd think. Then I met a mutual friend and we compared notes and my eyes were opened. I just stopped responding to her -- didn't answer emails; didn't return phone calls. I know she was puzzled and confused.
Same with the second woman. With her, I just felt played -- again with the drama. She would drop these big bombs on me -- similar to the first one -- she may have a brain tumor (really), she is getting her papers in order just in case; her pap smear was iffy blah blah blah and every time I would rise to the bait like a hungry trout going after the lure and I'd get hooked. I finally figured it out -- when she didn't die -- that this was all just playing me.
Like the first one, I just stopped responding. She finally got the message, but what's funny is fast forward about eight years later, this past spring, she sent me a note -- she had been cleaning out her desk and found some letters I'd written her (nice ones) and thought I'd like to read them. I did, and then shredded them and I didn't acknowledge she had sent this to me.
The theme here is being lied to -- so do we owe people an explanation or are we free to just pull away?